So I’ve been having this recurring dream over the last couple days. I just felt like I needed to talk about it a little and maybe explain my thoughts on it because it seems interesting (as I #1 don’t normally remember my dreams and #2 I definitely don’t have recurring dreams).
The dream basically starts off with me in a parking lot surrounded by a bunch of cars. Directly in front of me is a building, with like a 10 ft wall on top of which is a walkway. The walkway is surrounded by glass, but it’s kind of run down and broken and there are a tons of kind of old shrubs and crap all over. Anyway, I’m there with a bunch of my friends and family and we all climb up to the walkway and begin walking down it. It’s kind of dark and dusty, but we end up squeezing past some rocks and broken wall junk to make it back to this nature-y area. There’s a small stream and a waterfall. It’s still dark because we’re still inside the building. Anyway we all end up climbing up the sides of the waterfall and make it back to this gated area, which is easy enough to open. We spend only a little time there, but eventually we have to leave (I’m not sure why, it was just sort of forced). As we do, I look back to make sure I’m not forgetting anything and I think I grab some stuff, although I don’t quite remember what. I also notice a couple of rakes on the floor, but I decide to leave them there. Everyone else has no problem getting back out, but as I try to get back out the entire area has been covered in cobwebs. As I try to move through, the webs all start sticking to me. Eventually I get out, but not without covering myself in webbing. I mention it, but no one else even noticed there was any webbing there. This is the point where I usually wake up.
So I guess a little back story might be needed before I go into this. About 3 months ago I met this absolutely amazing girl. She was fun and beautiful and smart and I enjoyed every moment I got to spend with her. However, this was during the last week of my time at Pomona and since she didn’t want to do long distance (for obvious reasons that I fully support), and I couldn’t afford to stay in California, nothing ever really happened. However, I still find myself thinking about her every day without fail; she’s just always on my mind. Anyway that’s what I think this dream revolves around.
I hold my most important relationships deep down inside myself, much like the hidden room in the building. It’s not particularly difficult for me or others to get there, but it does take a little work. All of my friends and family have been there because I care about them so much. I think it’s a pretty beautiful place, and I enjoy being there because I enjoy my relationships with people so much. The last part, I think, has to do with her, though. I had to close the gate because we couldn’t have a relationship – I moved 1300 miles away. I wanted to care for her so much (and still do), but there was just nothing I could do (just as I was forced out of the gates). I’ve tried to move on, but all relationships have their cobwebs – memories that stick with someone forever. The memories I have of her are wonderful – I don’t want to clean them out (which is why I left the rakes), but I don’t love having these wonderful memories stuck to me when I can’t do anything about them. I guess the overarching idea is that I really miss her and wish I could have had something special with her, despite only spending a limited amount of time with her. This is why I was only able to stay in the gated area of relationships for a small time before being pushed out, although the force wasn’t angry or aggressive – it was kind and gentle as it pushed me away, just like she was. I guess the dream is just really trying to tell me how much I miss her.